Friday, January 31, 2014

Supper Bowl

Well, today is January 31, 2014, not February 1st but it has still been thirty days since I began the no carb challenge.  I wanted to go ahead and write my reveal for you now, because tomorrow belongs to my family.

Drum roll please…in thirty days I have lost 14 pounds, 11 ½ inches and one dress size!!! My new eating life style has not been as difficult as I expected, it has actually bordered on easy to find ways around bread, pasta, potatoes and sugar.  However, I have not been good on my vow to only weigh once a month.  I have witnessed lots of fluctuation in my weight, (up and down), the entire month but I am happy with where I landed this morning. 

I was hoping to have a larger number to share with you by now, but then the realist in me stomps her foot and wags her finger at me, “Fourteen pounds lost is wonderful and your pants are almost comfortable again!”  That is a huge deal!  It took many years to get this big, it’s not going to fall off over night. 

I am slowly giving up those bad habits, starting with caramel in my coffee, I finally let it go.  I am excited about my workout which will begin in two weeks.  (Still nursing my husband right now and I refuse to exercise in front of him, when he has access to a camera phone.  Why?  See for yourself.)  
My daughter & I giving it our best shot!  :)

I am embracing a new mindset as well.  This is no longer a diet for me, even though I hear myself replying to offers of sweets and bread with “I can’t…” it’s not what I mean.  This is my new life.  I don’t feel deprived, I actually feel empowered.  I am finally taking charge of something I have allowed myself to play victim to for years.  I am controlling my food, it’s not controlling me.  In turn I am actually enjoying what I eat even more than ever. 

Hopefully, next month I will be able to repost the same type of loss and conviction, but right now I will focus on today and enjoy every moment of it.  Happy weekend, hope your favorite team wins the Super Bowl because I am totally winning the Supper Bowl!  :D

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Excited About Capers?

This morning I woke up from a dream of donuts.  I wasn't actually eating them but I was watching the kids stuff their faces while I rifled through a salad, excited about capers.  Excited about capers?  Hmmm.

When I woke the kids wanted waffles, one with Nutella (one of my favorite things ever).  So I hurried through making their breakfast and made us all a fruit smoothie.  I took my small portion of smoothie with me as I headed to the shower, trying to escape the sweet, warm smell of waffles.  "You can do this!" I coached myself. 

Then I saw the scale staring at me, remembering I've vowed to only weigh once a month.  "I could use some encouragement." I tell myself but as I am stepping on, my eyes are closed and I am in a battle of "Don't do it Christy!  You won’t have lost or worse you will have gained and then no one will be able to stop you from sprinting for that Nutella jar.  Don't look, I beg you!!!"  I opened one eye and peeked over my protruding belly and saw 211 staring back at me. 

Now, I know for most that would have been reason to run for the Nutella, but for me it was victory.  Nine pounds gone in eleven days is phenomenal, when all you've seen is weight gain for years.  I am so excited and even more determined. 


Thursday, January 9, 2014

I'm Not a Cow

Okay, so I am doing this diet thing.  I am even doing pretty well at it, even with these little beauties staring me in the face, (I haven’t touched them other than to dole them out to the kids). 

 It’s not always easy, but I just keep telling myself, “You’re not a cow…you’re not a cow.”  I am still keeping up with my resolution to be kind to myself, but when I think of carbs this is how I am seeing it now.  Grains are something we feed livestock.  Why?  To fatten them up.  I’ve been eating grains my whole life and I only have ONE stomach, so I can only imagine. 


As I said before I’ve been getting help with the Atkins frozen entrees.  I was asked to share my opinion on the few I’ve tried.  It has only been nine days but I definitely have some opinions already.  So far my personal favorites (in order) are: 


1. Beef Merlot (Exquisite!!! 5 out of 5 stars)
2. Crustless Chicken Pot Pie (Didn’t even miss the crust which is usually my favorite part 4 out of 5 stars)
3.  Chicken Broccoli Alfredo (Delicious!!!  4 out of 5 stars)
4.  Chicken Masala (Yummy!!!  4 out of 5 stars)
5.  Swedish Meatballs (Tasty as well as filling.  4 out of 5 stars)
6. Sesame Chicken Stir-Fry (Very good.  A little on the sweet side but not too bad.  3 out of 5 stars)

I prefer traditional home style cooking.  You may have a more exotic pallet.  I don’t completely dislike any of the meals I’ve tried but these were my least favorite.

*Italian Style Pasta Bake (However, I do not like Italian Sausage, if you do…you will love it.)
*Orange Chicken (This would have been good, but just a little too sweet for my liking.)
*Meatloaf with Portobello Mushroom Gravy (I think I just expected too much on this one.  I love mushrooms and again I am a home-style cooking kind of girl.  For me this had the heavy meaty taste of a school cafeteria.)
*Mexican Style Chicken & Vegetables (This was a little heavy on the cumin and just my least favorite of all sampled.)

There are plenty more entrees to try, this is just the selection I have tried so far.  The meals are all very well prepared, the vegetables in every dish have been very appetizing and I have enjoyed them very much.  I hope if you try them you enjoy them too.  (Just in case any of you are thinking it, no I do not get anything from Atkins for saying this.  I am not affiliated with them in anyway and they don’t know who I am.  However, if they wanted to give me some entrees I would not object, I can use all the help I can get.)  

Another Question I have had is…”What are you eating for breakfast?”

*Activia Black Cherry yogurt with shelled Sunflower seeds sprinkled in it.
*Eggs & Bacon
*Smoothies (I have 3 different recipes I enjoy, listed below.  They also make a nice snack.)

Mixed Berries – 1 cup ice, ½ cup coconut water or plain water & 1 cup frozen mixed berries (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries & blackberries- value brand found in Wal-mart freezer section).

Sunrise – 1 cup ice, ½ cup V8 Splash (peach/mango) & 1 cup frozen mixed fruit (this has mango, peach, pineapple & strawberries - value brand found in Wal-mart freezer section).

Pumpkin – 1 cup ice, ½ water, 4 TBS canned pumpkin, 1 TBS sugar free French vanilla coffee creamer, ¼ tsp. cinnamon

I don’t have those things all at the same time, these are just an assortment of items I have allowed myself in place of toast or oatmeal. 

I’ve given you a list of all my brownie points, so here is my guilt list.  Things I need to own up to, and modify along the way.
1.      I am still enjoying my coffee with one or two squirts of caramel.
2.      I am not exercising yet.
3.      I’ve had a few weak moments where hunger got the best of me.  In those moments I have indulged in chunks of cheese or a banana rolled in sunflower seeds.  I know those aren’t great choices, but they feel better than cookies or ice cream, so I will give myself a break for now.

Lastly, my blog feels a little self-absorbed right now, and I apologize.  I’m not contributing much of value to anyone but myself.  However, I have to do this to better myself.  I hope maybe along the way I can help someone else who is struggling with the same issues and I hope you will feel free to share your experiences and tips. Thank you for the support and encouragement I have already received and God bless you in this wonderful and exciting New Year.

Monday, January 6, 2014


Okay so it’s not a resolution but maybe a revolution.  I don’t normally make resolutions, the idea is just too controlled for me and I feel it only sets me up to fail.  This year I thought I'd give it a whirl, but I kept it realistic:
1. Finish at least one writing project. 
2.  Unsubscribe to all junk email, (this will not only save me time but keep shopping temptation at bay).  
3.  Be kinder to myself (It will be impossible to do anything worthwhile without getting rid of those mean voices I have beating me up all the time).
Clear about what my promises are to myself?  Yay!  Here is my challenge:  This year I turn forty…Okay, okay 40!  I did promise myself a few years back that I would be in some sort of shape other than round or oval by the time I reached…that number.  Like everything I’ve ever done, I am a last minute sort of girl.  I work best under pressure so homework, housework, everything but planning and list making, tend to wait to the last minute.  So here we are and the countdown begins.  I have exactly seven months and eighteen days to feel better physically and it won’t be easy I’m sure.
In order to do this I have to take ownership of my bad habits, as well as my current state.  I need to be able to count on myself to take responsibility and remain accountable, something I’ve been good at avoiding.  Making it public is the first step in this process, so...
Ugly Truths:
The reasons for my current station in life are many.  I will skip the numerous emotional excuses for what started this sneak attack of padding myself, and get right to the valid reasons I’ve continued to see someone I no longer recognize.  I suffer from Fatty-itus! 
One day I woke up and was big, I mean really big.  It floored me.  I didn’t feel big, just like I don’t feel old, but there was my big body in plain sight.  I have one of those odd bodies, thin arms and legs, huge bust, no butt and a very round torso.  The bust is so large it is difficult to see anything underneath, making it easy to pretend it isn’t there, but when it starts to get awkward to reach your feet, or you want to cry when you see yourself in a picture, pretending stops being a luxury. 
Being big has changed a lot about me that wasn’t just physical.  I used to be pretty outgoing, but I find I have begun to see myself as shy. I enjoyed activities, I cringe at the thought of now, and I don't often wear make up, fix my hair or enjoy buying clothes. 
Like most misplaced youth I didn’t appreciate what I had in my glory days…yes I was one of those sad few who peeked in high school and it went downhill from there.  At a size 6 and 125 pounds, I knew what it meant to walk into a place and feel people watching you.  I never thought I was beautiful or any of that nonsense, in fact I still saw myself as big; but the energy which surrounded me sometimes was unmistakable and it was really nice.
I began 2014 a size 18 and 220 pounds.  I avoid going places, cameras, mirrors and intimacy because of shame.  When I am around others (even family), I tend to make bad jokes about my size as a defense, (sort of beat them to their own thoughts game).  I feel humiliated, lost and trapped.  I know the real me is stuck inside this padded cell, I’ve created for myself and she is dying to get out, but finding the key is not as easy as some claim it to be. 
I have tried…some attempts were halfhearted but I have tried.  There has been dieting, exercising, and praying.  Nothing worked so there was avoiding, pretending and flat out ignoring.  I’ve never found anyone that had the magic potion, who was willing to share.  So I pretty much gave up, hoping it would fix itself…but here I am and it hasn’t. 
One of my sweetie cousins posted on her social page she’d lost 37 pounds.  I was thrilled for her and optimistic for myself.  Here is someone I know, who hasn’t had surgery, didn’t pay tons of money, hasn’t worked out 24/7 and she is getting results and is still eating!!! What is her secret?  She shared with me that she was reading Primal Blue Print by Mark Sisson.  I instantly ordered my copy, and it is basically a no carbohydrate diet, which I’ve heard of.  I mean who hasn’t?  For some reason it has always seemed impossible to conceive of no bread, but this time is different. 
A few months prior to talking with my cousin I'd been telling myself I need to try cutting back on carbs and now here it is in my face, confirming the very suspicion I’ve had all along.  I’m not sure why, but I am finally ready.  So, January 1, 2014 I said bye-bye to carbs.  Have I modified things a little?  Yes.  I am not a hero in this story, just a struggling fatty.  (Oops there’s that be kind to myself thing…I’m just a struggling foodie…okay that’s a little better).
I have a few diet frozen entrees in my freezer, I’m going to finish them.  Some of them have bread, I figure I will keep those for the days I am really struggling with things.  They are low everything so maybe one give won’t take so much.  I also refuse to give up my coffee but I can limit it to one or two a day.  Then, I have a family, who is shall we say on the picky side, I still have to provide sustenance for them, so I purchased a few Atkins entrees for myself to try out, and YUMMY!  (They are great and I am satisfied). 
Today is day six, I vowed to myself to only weigh and measure on the first of each month, but this afternoon the scale was staring at me.  I was ready to get in the shower and just like chocolate will be on special days, I couldn’t resist.  I stepped up, holding my breath, and mentally coaching myself, “It’s only been six days Christy, only six days.”  But when I opened my eyes and looked down at my feet five pounds had waved good bye.  Five pounds down in six days was more than I’d hoped for. 
Yes, I realize it could be water weight but for today I choose to see it as progress.  I choose to hope this time will be different, not only because I want my husband to have the wife he deserves, and because I want my children to be able to look to me as an example, but because I deserve it. 
 *I will keep you posted on my progress.  For any of you who battle fatty-itus with me,  I keep you in my prayers and hope 2014 will change our lives, our habits, and our personal promises to ourselves.  Happy New Year one and all! 
*Please feel free to post your personal victories, as well as struggles, so we can support one another.